Wednesday, August 19, 2009

the invalidator strikes again

He begged me not to tell this story because it makes him sound like a jerk, but I swear it was just so funny and he just totally proved my point that he does indeed invalidate me at every turn.

We're snuggling on the couch, Nick's arm is around my shoulder. And when he removes it, my hair gets tangled up in the crook of his arm which he removed with a little pull. Here's what happened after that...word for word.

Me: Ouch! Careful!
Him: That didn't hurt! You're tough! (he said later this was meant to be a compliment. okay.)
Me: You see what I mean? You always invalidate me! You need to apologize for pulling my hair!
Him: I'm sorry if you got hurt. (ooh, this is where the Invalidator shines! A passive-aggressive apology. Some other examples include, "I'm sorry your feelings got hurt" or "I'm sorry if you thought I meant it that way" or my favorite, "I'm sorry you feel that way.") To his credit, Nick rarely gives these kinds of apologies anymore, and not just because I busted his balls on the blog about it.
Me: No, that apology sucks. I want to hear, "You were right and I was wrong."
Him: Fuck off.

I swear I laughed so hard for so long, I forgot what we were talking about. He wins again! I know to people who are reading this and don't us may think Nick is a jerk, especially for dropping the f bomb on me. But in a weird twisted way, calling each other horrible names and using vulgar language is how we show love for each other because it usually makes us laugh. I'm positive our kid's first word is going to be something really offensive.