Wednesday, May 27, 2009

let me brag a bit...

...on my cute husband. He has turned into a very talented photographer, although he doesn't believe me when I tell him so. Go HERE to prove me right and to see pictures of the world's cutest baby.

Thank you.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

don't quote me on that...

You know what I hate? When you find a quote that has significant meaning to your life; that feels like it was written for you and you alone...but you may have found it in a less than respectable source.

Tonight, I was reading one of the 20 books I usually read each year – Forever In Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The books are, I think, a great portrait of a group of high school girlfriends. Before each chapter, the author includes a quote that relates to the upcoming chapter. Some of them are funny, my favorite being “I don't have to be careful...I've got a GUN!” by Homer Simpson. I read one tonight that really resonated with me and got out of bed to write about it.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus

Here's the embarrassing part. I have no idea who Albert Camus is. I had to look him up on Wikipedia and I discovered he was a philosopher and author who was the first Africa-born person to win the Nobel Prize for Literature and the second-youngest after Rudyard Kipling.

But as far as I'm concerned, his greatest achievement is a quote in a book about adolescent, soul-searching teenage girls. Sorry Albie.

Let's get back to the quote:
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus

Isn't that wonderful? With the warm weather finally starting to come around (without the rain, thank God), it makes me ache for my youth. Back to the magical days when I didn't have to worry about money, marriage, illnesses, my purpose in life. All I had to worry about was if I was going to get kissed by a boy I liked, if my friends were going to come over to spend the night, if my chores were done on time so I could go out to Whataburger with the girls.

Lately, I'm torn between feeling like I'm waiting for my life to start and feeling like life is rushing by and I can't stop it. But after reading that quote, I felt a surge of happiness and relief. Allow me to use another quote from an embarrassing source: Steel Magnolias. “Miss Clairee, there are still good times to be had.” - Shelby Eatenton.

I'm not sure if I have been experiencing a depth of winter, but I look forward to what is hopefully an invincible summer. I think I'm off to a good start. Today I got a pedicure with my other mother (Nick's mom) and two cute sisters-in-law. And for dinner, Nick and I ate outside at the park by our house and watched kids take great joy in going down the same slide over and over. I have big plans for the rest of the summer that include reading, writing (on the blog and just for me), attending the Harry Potter premiere dressed as Ginny Weasley, lighting fireworks, riding horses, swimming, turning our back patio into a beer garden, perfecting a karaoke song to sing at Cookie's that will get people dancing.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer...

Thursday, May 14, 2009

she's funny...

...without even trying. My mother I mean. Sorry to post twice in one day, but I have to transcribe a text I received from my mother on Tuesday. I was going to drive to Tulsa later in the day to visit her at the Cancer Treatment Center where she was staying for the week with Jonathan. Anyway, this is exactly what she sent: a 4 screen text message that proves what I've always suspected, she doesn't really believe that I am a grownup yet. Which is okay, because most days I don't believe it either. (My comments are in these things ())

"Hey baby. The weather here is bad. How is it there? I don't want you driving if it's too bad. Do you know where the CTA (cancer treatment center) is? The place is on 169 and 81st street. Can't miss it. Drive careful. See you soon. I'm hungry. The eggs sucked (due to a procedure she went through she couldn't eat anything all day except two hard boiled eggs). xoxo. (so you'd think that's the end of the text but it keeps going.) Hey baby. Call Jonathan before you leave. Is there anyway you could be pregnant? (NO) I will be radioactive and can't hug you tonight. He asked me if you could be pregnant. (NO) Call J. Love you, mommy."

Poor Jonathan had to ask me if I was pregnant due to her radioactive-ness. I assured him I was not. But what if I was? I hugged her anyway, caution be you think my baby would be born with the ability to climb walls or be lightning fast?

trailers to watch

Nowadays, it's more common for me to enjoy a movie trailer more than the actual film. Maybe it's because every movie trailer should come with a disclaimer that reads SPOILER ALERT. You can tell everything from a movie trailer. Or, if you are as sharp as me, you can tell when they are trying to trick you in a movie trailer and the actual movie will go an entirely different way. The bastards. Anyway, I obviously spend way too much time on as evidenced by this post. Here's the goods.
A musical with Daniel Day Lewis? He definitely chooses his roles with care so they are bound to be good. Judi Dench? Homegirl wins oscars for doing cameos. And a bunch of other attractive women singing and dancing? works for me.

Woody Allen and Larry David?? Oy. How has Larry David not been in all of Woody Allen's movies so far? Oh wait, he has except he was played by Woody Allen. His movies can be deceiving though. Some of them are SO good: Hannah and Her Sisters, Scoop, Annie Hall. And then some of I wasn't a fan of Melinda and Melinda, Anything Else, Match Point. I'll say this for him though, the man's got range.

and finally, what we (that is Nick, me, my brother and our friend Ben) have been waiting for since LAST OCTOBER WHEN THE MOVIE WAS SUPPOSED TO FREAKING COME OUT...

The ROAD! It looks awesome! I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's too late. I loved the book so much! Tyler lent Nick the book on a weekend visit and he read it out loud to me while we were driving back to Oklahoma. We stayed up so late finishing it. It was amazing. Just reading parts of it out loud made us weep! Every father should read it. Every HUMAN should, but for real every father. Don't let the fact that it was an Oprah book club pick deter you. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. (By the way, I am a total hypocrite because of that last sentence, because I have read several of Oprah's book club picks, but A Million Little Pieces burned me too badly. Bitch should have done her homework about that lying asshole!)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

mother dear..

i love you.

Those of you who know my mom, know how amazing she is. And chances are if you are reading this, then you know what she has gone through in the last few months. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in February and it has been a wild ride ever since. Everyone knows someone with cancer, or someone who has a family member with cancer. There's always a list of those battling cancer in the church bulletin and truthfully I never paid much attention to it.

But when it happens to your MOTHER, it becomes something unknown and menacing. This is what happens to other people, not someone with whom my whole identity is wrapped up in.

Through it all, she has been incredible. She told me when she was terrified, when she was confident, when she was annoyed with the doctors, when she needed me to be with her. In her blog she mentioned that my brother and I have stepped up to take care of her, but in reality she never stops taking care of us. Tyler and I talk about how we feel she is always trying to protect us, not from the truth necessarily, she doesn't lie to us about the seriousness of her condition, but from going through something like this alone. She's constantly asking how we're doing, how we're handling the news, how we are coping. And when I'm talking to her, she'll ask me how I think Tyler is doing and he confirms she asks the same questions about me. I wish I lived closer during these times so I could be with her at all times, but knowing she has Jonathan (the best future stepfather in the world) makes it easier to bear. He is so attentive to her needs and loves her more than he loves himself. Joining his family and having him join ours makes our lives more complete.

Mom, I've said before that I wish I had your aptitude for words, but I don't. I know it doesn't really matter, however, because I have always been your girl and you have always been the woman I strive to be. And as long as you are sure of that, I don't need to say anything else.

Love you.