Monday, November 15, 2010

new blog post

Hey all two of you who still check this...

We started a new baby blog and I'll just be posting over there. Not every post will be about the baby, just 99% of them!

Friday, July 30, 2010

the unflattering photo you've all been waiting for...

And it's in the nursery to boot. How about that gut, eh? We're officially full-term this week and also traveling to Dallas for our last baby shower/fun weekend with family.

So this baby might be born a Texan, but let's hope not.

Also, before I forget....happy birthday to my dreamboat husband! It's actually not until tomorrow but I have a feeling I'll be too busy to blog. He has the same birthday as Harry Potter! (The character, not the actor) Love you, Nicholas!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Up All Night

So, my only pregnancy complaint is sleep, or lack thereof. And let me tell you something right now, my loyal 4 readers: If ANY of you leave a comment along the lines of "Just wait until the baby comes and then you'll know what no sleep is!" I will drive to your part of the world and punch you. Repeatedly. We are all intelligent adults here, so spare me the platitudes. (Wow, I'm such a bitch when I'm pregnant and sleep deprived!)

In the last few weeks, I've been having trouble falling asleep, staying asleep and getting comfortable while sleeping. Some of the falling asleep problems are anxiety related, I'm sure (Holy shit, we're having a baby in about a month!) but alot of it is due to restless leg syndrome. Ugh. I got the Jimmy Legs. I lay there and try to relax but after about 20 minutes I just start twitching and adjusting and flipping and stretching. I would say it makes me feel bad for Nick, but he has not once woken up to my endless movement.

Then there's the staying asleep problem. Tonight I got in bed at 9:30 to read myself to sleep. (I'm reading Sarah Silverman's book and it is H-I-larious, and I'm not really a fan of her TV show.) Anyway, I fell asleep pretty quickly and was WIDE awake by 11pm. I read on my iPhone for awhile but then I had to keep getting up to pee and pretty soon I just gave up and came into the living room. For the past 3 nights I have been sleeping on the couch. Sigh.

We met with the midwife today and everything is going really well. I have to get tested for Group B strep in my next visit (the appointments are coming every week now!!) and hopefully it will be negative which means I don't have to worry about getting antibiotics during labor. Nick mentioned to the midwife that I am having trouble sleeping and she mentioned the old wives' tale of "nature preparing your for less sleep". And when I thought about it, I had to agree that there is some merit to it. Before I got pregnant, if I got this little sleep I would have to call in sick to work or else I would be a total zombie. I would get sick and feel generally crappy for a few days. But now, I get about 5 hours of very broken sleep, wake up at my usual time and get on with my day.

Really it's just the boredom at night that I hate. At least after Calvin gets here, I'll have something cute to look at when I'm up all night. Until then, I'm just chilling on the couch, alone, watching the Office reruns.

In all honesty, though, I have been so lucky in this pregnancy. I feel good most of the time. I haven't even been bothered by the heat so far. In the coming weeks we have a lot of fun things planned. My mom is coming this weekend to rearrange all our nursery furniture. Next weekend we have 2 baby showers and our childbirth class at the hospital which includes our hospital tour and I am really excited about it.

And after all that...he'll be here.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Random Twilight-y Thoughts

I am too tired to make this funny so here is a list of observations I had during my morning viewing of the third chapter in the Twilight Saga.

Bella is finally cured of her lip-biting tic.

Her wig is totally fugly.

Why do they insist on giving Jasper lady hair?

Jacob's teeth are too, too white. They look blue sometimes.

Finally, Edward and Bella act like they like each other in this movie.

I still think Edward is on the verge of being an abusive boyfriend.

But he is just so attractive.

My brother says he looks like a hammer head shark.

Why is Bella wearing so many flannel shirts?

That ring that he gave her is not what I pictured at all. Bad move, Ed.

Shut up, teenage girl who are whispering constantly behind me.

I only need to go to the bathroom once during the two hour movie. Yes!

Why do they design bathroom stall doors that you have to practically step into the toilet to enter?

How pathetic is it that I cried during the Harry Potter trailer? I'm not sure I'm ready to say goodbye.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

this is how you know...

When two or more Owens' have gathered in one place.

Dad, Tyler, Sandy, Nick and I spent the weekend in the tiny, TINY village of Cedar Rapids, Nebraska visiting our grandmother and favorite aunt, uncle and cousins. Not much to do in that town, so we had to resort to playing Hair Salon.

I was sort of dreading the 8 hour car trip, expecting my feet and ankles to swell to elephant proportions, but surprisingly they didn't at all. We rented a sweet minivan (yes, you read that right) so we watched movies and everyone had plenty of room.


Here comes the Much Promised Belly Picture:

Ha! Okay, the photo is blurry and with two other dudes one of whom is Mr. Doug Benson - stoner and comedian and podcaster extraordinaire. We went to his show last night and laughed our asses off.

But, this is about bellies, not asses. Take a look at that gut will you? Lately the babe has taken to putting his feet under my ribs and sticking his cute butt out which causes a weird lump that you can see in the above photo. Also, I probably keep pissing him off because when he pushes against me, I push right back and he gives it right back to me. Sometimes I'll rest my hand up against my belly and I get a sharp nudge exactly where my hand is, almost like he's trying to tell me, "Lay off me lady. I'm running out of room in here."

Seven or so weeks left. Can't wait to see his face.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

may favs?

Sorry folks. The month of May rushed by so fast, I had no time to document any favorite things. Plus, it was kind of a crappy month if I'm honest. Our car was in the shop for the ENTIRE MONTH, I found out my maternity leave isn't going to be all that great, etc.

However, I will say that the highlight of the month was a trip to Austin, Texas to visit my step-father's family. They have a beautiful house, an amazing pool and are literally the nicest people you could ever hope to meet. Not only are they wonderful hosts, but they kept shoving me to the front of every food line and making sure my every need was met. They have two adorable daughters who talked to my belly the whole weekend and gave us the sweetest hugs.

AND to top off an already perfect weekend...they got together with Sandy and Mom and threw us a surprise baby shower! They sent me and Nick and my brother to the store and when we came back there were decorations and gifts everywhere. It was so incredibly sweet. Everyone chipped in and got us a pack and play, which vibrates and plays music. The future is now, people. My grandmother also sent a little handmade baby blanket and my aunt from California sent a gift card and an adorable outfit. My mom and Sandy are the premiere party planners, I'm telling you. Sandy made the cutest paper pinwheels that I'm going to hang in the baby's room and my mom bought Cal some adorable blue plaid sneakers.

I will never, EVER get tired of baby clothes.

I know everyone complains that all you get are baby clothes at a baby shower and not the stuff you register for, but to me, I'd rather have the people I love hand pick outfits for my kid and leave the boring stuff like a diaper genie to me and Nick.

We also made some major progress on the nursery this weekend. I invited my dad up for the weekend and promptly put him to work painting the baby's room. I didn't mean to, but as my brother and I talked about later: He's just so damn good at painting! It takes him like 5 minutes to tape off a room. So, dad, if you're reading this, sorry we used you for your mad skills.

Nick finished painting the crib and it looks great. Do I have a picture to show you? Well, what do you think? I know, I know. I'm failing again.

This week marks another pregnancy milestone: We're into the single digits. Weeks, I mean. Only 9 left, unless baby wants to stay in there awhile longer. Hopefully not too long.

Monday, May 24, 2010

You seem to be getting pregnanter these days.

With the onset of the big, bad THIRD trimester that I am now's a little pregnancy info on yours truly.

How far along? 28 weeks (I'm rounding up)
Weight gain/loss: What? I can't hear you.
Maternity clothes? Yes. Currently looking for more long dresses to wear on the cheap.
Stretch marks? No, but there are hints of them coming.
Sleep? Actually having alot more energy and also sleep is getting more difficult.
Best moment this week? Having Nick talk to my belly all the time. Can't get enough.
Food cravings: Ice. Everyone in earshot hates me.
Gender: Boy!
Belly button in or out? Still in.
Movement? When I lay down at night, he goes nuts. I love it.
What I miss? Beer.
What I'm looking forward to: Getting the nursery done. Or started.
Weekly wisdom: Let's only worry about what we can actually change. That really limits the list doesn't it?
Milestones: My son's testes are migrating into his scrotum. All that's going on inside my uterus. Weird eh?

Friday, May 21, 2010

six years ago today...


asked me

to the movies to see Shrek 2.

It was our 3rd or so date. I wore a khaki miniskirt and brown tank top. I have no idea what he wore.

I picked him up and drove him back home. I started getting that wonderful/nerve-wracking feeling that I was about to get my first kiss (from him, anyway).

And what a kiss it was. Actually it was several, but who's counting? It's one of my most precious memories.

We've shared thousands of kisses since then.

But none are as memorable as that first one.

Monday, May 17, 2010

madison? isn't that a

I've been spending alot of time thinking about names. I have decided to give Calvin my maiden name (Owens) as a middle name. I would say WE decided on it, but I'm not sure if Nick is 100% sold on the idea. I never considered the pressure of choosing a name for a child until we started trying to get pregnant. And when we found out it's a boy, the pressure increased because this will be his name FOREVER. I've had girlfriends who were relieved to get maried because they wanted to get rid of their maiden names. I was the opposite. I went through a mini-mourning session when I finally, officially, changed my name from Owens to Fossey. I'm ridiculously close to my family and the idea of separating myself from them made me have a little identity crisis. And the whole idea made me a little indignant. I was just supposed to change the perfectly good name I've had for 26 years just because I was getting married? Not fair. I know I didn't have to change my name, but the women I've known who kept their maiden name get referred to as Mrs. HusbandsLastName anyway, and they're stuck correcting people constantly.

But I digress.

In case my in-laws are reading this, I want to assure them (and anyone else) that in the last SIX years since I have started dating and married and been knocked up by Nick, that I am just as much a Fossey as I am an Owens. I'm not sure when it happened, but it has. Maybe I realized it last weekend when I spent pretty much the whole weekend with my in-laws and without my husband, who was working. Or maybe when I prompted my father-in-law to tell a Fossey family legend and then realized I wasn't even in the family then, but I felt like I was.

I have no idea where all of this is coming from, but I know it is coming from a place of gratitude. Family dynamics are fragile. When my brother married Sandy, I realized how thankful I was that he married someone we all loved and not someone who would take him away from us, so to speak. It's the same way with my mom and Jonathan and Katherine and Todd. I hope that when Calvin gets older, I can find the balance of encouraging him to consider the family before choosing a wife, and keeping my nose out of his business. I'm not too worried about it though, considering he is half Fossey and half Owens. He'll grow up the same as me and Nick - at times taking his family for granted, but eventually realizing how lucky he is to be part of our tribe.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

April Favs!

Only 4 days into the month this time. Progress! Now, onto a few of my favorite things. (Try to read that last sentence without singing. You can't, can you?)

We came back from New York last week to find these gorgeous things blooming in our front yard. Thanks previous owners! The best kinds of flowers are the ones someone else plants, in my opinion. There's also a peony bush with lots of buds on it. I hope they sprout in the next few days!

Hello, Handsome. At first I gave this show the side eye. I thought it was going to be this guy in a cowboy hat working as a cop in LA or something. But it's actually a really good show, that takes place in Kentucky. It's also the closest we'll get to EVER watching a crime show. Although if Timothy Olyphant was to star on Law and Order, I may have to eat my words.

Sorry for two TV shows as favorites, but I have been watching Sports Night reruns on my computer for a month. I watch them first thing in the morning and before I go to bed. I can't stop. I know all the lines by heart. It's not a spectacular show by any means and it can be a bit preachy, but I find it comforting.

I finally caved and downloaded the Scrabble app on my phone even though it was THREE dollars, which is madness. But I'm hooked, just like every other annoying person in your life who ignores you to look at their phones. I think I've been playing too much though, because it's getting harder to make words. I think it's making me dumber. Still fun though.

Podcasts! This picture is from the Pregtastic Podcast (duh). I'm addicted to the birth stories they post. I love listening to and reading to other people's birth stories, even the scary ones. Makes me feel reassured that women literally do it every day. I also started listning to the I Love Movies podcast by Doug Benson. He is hilarious, and I'm pretty sure he's stoned MOST of the time while recording his show, which only makes it funnier. Old favorites include the Adam Corolla podcast and also This American Life, although both of those are hit and miss lately. Please send me podcast recommendations if you have any!

This is also the month where my belly has POPPED. Do I have a picture to show you?


Nick and I got back from New York on Monday night and I went through my camera to look at pictures from our trip and shamefully discovered I only took 14. And 4 of those were of Nick on the airplane, trying to bug him. I am the world's worst photographer! Here's my promise to you, blog readers. I'll have Nick take a picture of my huge, pregnant gut in all its glory and post it on the blog soon. No stretch marks yet...knock on wood!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

it's probably just a food baby...

It's official: I can feel the baby kicking. There's an actual creature inside of me, moving around and I can FEEL it. It would be really weird if it wasn't so amazing. At first, I blamed it on gas. But just last week it became undeniable. I've only felt one kick from the outside and that was pretty incredible too. Nick's a little frustrated that he hasn't been able to feel anything yet and I suspect he'll be able to in the next few weeks. But, in all honesty, I kind of like having a little secret with my boy. It's just between us for now.

By the way his name is Calvin (we're 99% sure) and we haven't settled on a middle name yet.

I can't wait to see his little* face!

*Or if he's anything like his mama, his BIG, FAT face. Stay tuned for proof.

Monday, April 5, 2010

March Favs

This is going to be pretty random, but what can I say? I am a woman a varied interests...either that or a scatterbrained pregnant lady. And it's only 10 days late! Here goes!

First and foremost (what does foremost mean anyway?)...

My absolute favorite thing in March was our ultrasound on the 23rd where we discovered the sex of our baby. Read on to find out.

Yay! A Boy! My prediction from many months ago was right! See here for proof.

The ultrasound tech (who was very UN-excited throughout our appointment)put the wand on my stomach and I immediately could tell it was a boy. The tech lady took a few pictures of his head and spine and then just types on the screen, BOY PARTS. Nick and I looked at each other and I asked her, "Does that mean it's a boy?" And she said, "Looks like it." And then she moved on.

Oh well. We were thrilled. Nick started crying, I couldn't stop laughing. Everything else looks great!

Now onto some more shallow favorite things.


I cannot get enough. Any flavor, any time of day. I told my work people I would announce the sex of the baby at staff meeting by the flavor of muffins: blueberry for a boy and raspberry for a girl. I made two dozen blueberry muffins and haven't looked back. My favorite ones are the blueberry lemon muffins from Starbucks. So good.


Baby Clothes
Nothing, and I mean nothing is cuter than watching your husband go through racks of baby clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for his unborn son. We went to the Just Between Friends consignment sale in Grapevine while visiting family and while I was looking for stuff for the baby's room, Nick picked out 4 of the cutest outfits of all time. Oh man, I can't wait for baby's first fashion show!


Tresemme Heat Tamer Spray.
Random I know, but since I started using this my hair is so super soft and manageable. I spray it on my wet hair and then blow-dry it and then another little spritz before I flat iron it. I love it.


Makeup and Hair Tutorials on youtube.
This one is really embarrassing. I am NOT someone who gives a damn about makeup. A few months ago, Nick brought home a ton of makeup from Target that he got a great deal on. I looked it all over and then said, "Any chance you could bring some magazines home next time? Or candy?" Anyway, the picture above is of two sisters who call themselves Elle and Blair. They each have channels on youtube which you can find here and here.

They're pretty. They're perky. They have tens of thousands of dollars worth of makeup. The videos become sort of addicting, or maybe just to me. But the truth is, I have learned a new way to curl my hair and am mastering the art of eyeliner thanks to these girls.

So that's my March favorites! Stay tuned for some belly pictures!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

they call me the cautionary whale

Some BIG things happened yesterday in regards to this baby of mine.

1. We found out the sex of the baby!

2. A stranger noticed I was pregnant.

3. I was judged by the same stranger who noticed I was pregnant.

Let me explain. I was buying a 20 oz Coke for a coworker at Wal-Greens and the lady who checked me out looked me over and said, "Well, you're sure gonna keep that baby awake ALL NIGHT."

I sneered at her, "It's not for ME, it's for a friend."

Her, "Uh-huh." Clearly in disbelief.

But it was true. And even though she sucks for judging me, I was happy that someone other than coworkers and my family noticed I was pregnant.

Now to the other thing...I can't tell you all the sex yet. But I will. After the weekend. I gotta tell the family first. The good news is the baby looks great! Ten inches and eleven ounces. Moving around, sucking its thumb, twitching its feet. I can't get over it.

How can you love something so much that you haven't met yet?!

Monday, March 22, 2010

he loves me

You just have to read between the lines.

This weekend, Nick and I were talking about the delivery of our baby. I told him I want to try to go as natural as possible, and he's all for it but is skeptical of my resolve. When I asked him what he would say during the birth if I begged him for drugs, he responded with a wry smile, "Sure thing, honey. But can I park the car first?"

Another gem that happened a few weeks ago: I bought some maternity pants that are still way too big and so I asked Nick, "Do you think if I washed these in some hot water, I could shrink them?" "Sure, honey. If anyone can shrink clothes it's you."

Thanks alot, O Hilarious One.

Monday, March 1, 2010

What I Loved in February

One of my favorite blogs features an "All Things Loved in ..." every month and being the un-creative person I am, I decided to copy her. So, if anyone cares, here is what got me through February. January and February are my most hated months because they drag on FOREVER. I hate the winter, I wish it was over on December 26th but no, we have to suffer through 2 and a half more months of its misery! Spring, come quickly. But leave the rain behind.

Onto the list:

Mini Fruit Roll-Ups. I had to stop buying boxes of these because I would eat EIGHTEEN mini fruit roll-ups in about 2 days. Somehow the fact that they were mini took away some of the shame of stuffing them in my face, two at a time. But, seriously they are hella good.

Bubble baths. Early on in the pregnancy, I had horrible leg cramps that woke me up at night. My midwife attributed them to needing more calcium, but before I knew that, I was in agony. I would get up in the middle of the night, draw a bath and instantly I felt relief. I'm also known to take baths to warm up, thanks to this sucky winter and being stuck inside all day, I spend hours in there. My skin is dry as a bone and itching me all over, but I can't stay out of the tub. I predict a water birth in my future.

The March Vanity Fair Issue. I am obsessed with Vanity Fair. I used to subscribe to Glamour, InStyle, US Weekly and People (not all at the same time) but they all got to be too fluffy for me. I still read Glamour at the bookstore from time to time, but finally I bit the bullet and subscribed to Vanity Fair. Every month when it comes, I spend HOURS reading it. There are so many interesting articles in there. In every issue there is an article on the current movies/stars, and always some article about something from Hollywood's past. It's just a perfect mix of entertainment news, book suggestions, fashion, politics, history and current events. Go out and read it. Or better yet, come over to my house and read some back issues because lord knows I'm not throwing these away.

Napping. Before I got pregnant, I liked naps as much as the next person. But I never knew what it felt like to REQUIRE a nap on a daily basis for many weeks. On Sunday afternoons, my typical one hour nap turned into a huge, five hour nap. From one to six in the evening, I was snoring away. And the most remarkable part is, I would still go to bed at NINE THIRTY. Growing a baby is hard work y'all.

Seeing the baby on screen! Life changing. Amazing. Going to the midwife again on Wednesday, hoping for another peek!

Seeing this guy turn 30. I meant to write a long, mushy post on his birthday, but that's not really my style. I will say that I am so incredibly lucky to have him as a brother, because he is so loyal to me. But I am also lucky to have him as my best friend, which is what he has become. He's the only one who laughs at all my jokes. He gives great book and movie recommendations. And I am mostly SO thankful he didn't ruin our family dynamic by marrying anyone other than Sandy. He chose wisely. I cannot WAIT to see him as an uncle, and I hope he makes me an aunt PRONTO. (Are you reading this? Get on it.)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

dream a little dream of me

I might be the only one who feels this way, but I dread the mornings when Nick rolls over and says, "I had the weirdest dream last night." To his credit, Nick sometimes has very interesting dreams and usually they feature him as the hero: saving me, or saving his family. One of his dreams was him and Robert DeNiro fighting dragons so me and my friend Teeg could escape.

But no matter how interesting HE thinks they are, they are still someone else's dreams. And most of the time, other people's dreams don't make a damn bit of sense to anyone but the person who dreamed them! And it only gets worse when they try to explain them, despite the huge gaping plot holes: "We ended up at your house, but I don't remember how and it wasn't really your house because it was two stories..." Ughhhh. So boring. And I am as guilty as anyone about wanting to share them. Because sometimes dreams seem SO REAL, someone else HAS to know about it!

This morning we were enjoying our Saturday morning ritual, cuddling in bed and checking our iPhones and Nick muttered those words, "I had such a weird dream last night." Here we go. I said, "Oh yeah? A short one, I hope?" He rolled his eyes and said a bit defensively, "YES."

Here's what he said.

"I was still dating ------- (a girl from his past) but she was always so mean to me (in the dream, not in real life) and I was getting so sick of her. I went to the airport to pick her up after a long trip to Africa. When I saw her getting off the plane, I waved to her and said, "Hey!" to which she snarled at me, "I thought you'd have the car right outside!" And then I responded, "I'm so sick of your shit! I'm leaving!" And I left her standing there. When I got outside I saw a very pregnant lady struggling with her luggage and I hurried over to help her. And when I got there, I saw that it was you. And I knew instantly that I loved you and I loved this baby."


Monday, February 8, 2010

why i hate working in the schools sometimes

Mean Librarians.

Today, I went to a school to visit with a kid. We meet in the library. We have a deal where we visit for most of the session and then we read aloud from Diary of a Wimpy Kid (which is amazing). Before our session started, he asked me if he could check out a book to take home and read. Of course I said yes and we wandered through the aisles together and he picked out a fairly large hardback book with a picture of a dragon on it. I believe it was one of the Eragon series. He brought it to the Mean Librarian and pushed the book back at him and then sneered at him, "Go back and pick out a book you CAN read."

My client was so embarrassed and upset. He insisted he could read it and she opened it up at random and made him read one of the sentences inside and when he had trouble with one of the NAMES, not words, she made him return to the stacks and pick something else.

By this time I was giving her an incredulous look, mixed with fury and she started back peddling and then tried to insist that he should look for another book about dragons that's not so advanced if that's what he was interested in. He just grabbed a book off the shelf and set it down in front of her. I could tell he had no interest in reading it.

Another potential book lover bites the dust.

We sat down and talked for awhile and then read our book. During the time when he was reading out loud, I could hear the Mean Librarian yelling at every kid who came in.

Here's a lovely exchange with a SECOND grader who was at the card catalog computer:
"William, what are you looking for?"
Three full seconds of silence from William.
"Excuse me, are there any other Williams in this library?"
William sadly shakes his head.
"Do you have some kind of hearing problem?"
Shakes his head again.
"Then why would you pretend like you can't hear me when I asked you a question?"
He shrugs, looks terrified.
"Get over here and pick out a book and go back to class."

Another with a girl who looked like she was in fourth grade who had just returned a book.
"Jennifer did you really read this whole book?"
"Well, I'm not counting it for your reading points because I don't believe you. I know you couldn't have finished it. Pick out something else from this shelf only and I'll let you check it out."

What a peach she is. She also did that awesomely, condescending thing where she had discussions with the teacher about how misbehaved the children were like the children weren't even there. Grrrrr.

Why do people think it's okay to speak to children that way? I understand it's not easy to deal with kids all day (God knows teachers complain about it 24/7), but that's what they signed on for! And in my opinion, librarians have NO excuse. They are in a big empty room surrounded by books most of the time!

Sadly, most kids don't even realize that they are being mistreated by this horrible woman because they are spoken to like this by most people in their lives. Have you ever walked down a hallway while classrooms are lined up, going to lunch? All they hear is what they're doing wrong; and you'd think teachers would have clued into the fact that if you ramble on enough, KIDS STOP LISTENING TO YOU. So, instead of yelling instructions at them all day like, "Face forward. Stop talking. Hands to yourself. Get in line. Don't look in their classroom. Hurry up," they'd start giving attention to the ones who ARE doing what they are supposed to because most kids would cut off their right arm for positive attention.

This whole rant has me seriously considering homeschooling my kid. Kidding.

Monday, February 1, 2010

behold good sir, your future child

(I have decided that every post related to the pregnancy, which let's face it, most of the future posts will be, I will title them with a quote from Juno - one of my favorite pregnancy movies.)

Today, Nick and I went to the midwife for our second appointment. In the last few days, I had been having a lot of anxiety about the baby. In our last appointment, I was only 8 weeks along and LeAnna (the midwife) didn't think we would be able to see the baby that early and she was right, but it still bummed me out.

So for our appointment today, I was worried there wouldn't be a heartbeat. I know, it's morbid. I don't know why I even thought of that, but I just wanted to be prepared for anything. I warned Nick going in that it was a possibility, but he was sure everything was alright.

At the beginning of the appointment, we chatted for a bit with LeAnna and she said, "Well, let's take a look." She gets out the doppler and rubs it around on my belly for awhile and all we hear is static. I start feeling really uncomfortable and nervous. Then she says, "Okay. Let's see if we can get a look at it." She gets the ultrasound machine out and has Nick come over and stand by me so we can look at the screen together. I was too freaked out to look at the screen right away so I looked at Nick until she said, "Okay, there it is!" I whipped my head around and as soon as I made out the baby on the screen, it jumped a mile! It didn't stop moving the whole time we looked at it. We saw the heartbeat fluttering a mile a minute. Nick was so sweet the whole time. I love, love, love seeing him excited about the baby. Last week he brought home a stroller!

I made a comment about being so relieved that we could see the baby and the nurse said, "Yeah, you looked really worried earlier!"

She printed out three pictures of the peanut and we set the date for the BIG ultrasound. March 23rd! How will I be able to wait?!

Here's the little guy/girl with its head down and feet up!
(I never thought I would be one of "those" women who post ultrasound pictures that no one can figure out. I imagine in the next few months I'll be doing alot of things I never thought I would. Isn't that what motherhood is all about?)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

for shiz up the spout

Well, it's happened. I'm pregnant, knocked up, prego, with child, expecting. Would you like to hear how it happened? (No, not how IT happened, but how we found out?)

We started "trying" in November (by the way, people asking me how long we had been trying or if anyone knew we were trying makes for uncomfortable conversation in my opinion. No way around it, we're talking about having unprotected sex. So no, we didn't tell our parents or random people that we were trying). Due to my obsessive nature regarding success in the trying-to-conceive game, I researched and read books for months leading up to November. The most helpful was Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Up until I read that, I was sadly ignorant about my own body and what it takes to get pregnant.

I also joined a message board, full of other obsessed women trying to get pregnant. Let me tell you, a message board can be an informative, albeit scary place to visit. There are so many people out there struggling to get pregnant and it's taken them YEARS. It's easy to get discouraged and I was sure it would take us several months to get pregnant, which is why I convinced Nick to start trying earlier than we planned because no one gets pregnant in the first month. (Snicker)

So, November came to an end and then all you can do is wait. The problem with being well-informed is you know that it takes at least 14 days after you ovulate to detect pregnancy with a home pregnancy test. Fourteen days is a long time, y'all. Two full weeks. And all that's running through my head is, "What would be scarier? If the test was negative or positive?" Sure, you want it to be positive, but if it is, then that means, holy shit I'm going to be a mother! If it's not, then you have to go through all of this next month, and maybe the month after that. The waiting is enough to make you go mad.

I could only stand to wait ten out of the fourteen days before I decided to test. Which is dumb, because that early the chances of a positive test are like thirty percent. But I bought a pack of 10 cheapo pregnancy tests online (another trick I learned from the message board). Shelling out for those digital tests is totally against my tight wad nature.

Day ten out of fourteen = negative. Damn.
Day eleven out of fourteen = negative. This time I expected it, but still. Damn.
Day twelve out of fourteen = negative. Expecting my period any day now. Depressed.
Day thirteen out of fourteen = uh. Is that a faint, FAINT line? I'm talking so faint, you might be imagining it out of desperation? I abandoned all cute ways to reveal to Nick I might be pregnant and shoved the test in his face at 6am that morning. He concluded it was a "maybe". Later, he told me he couldn't see anything, but didn't want to disappoint me. That day I bought a digital pregnancy test and an early response test to use the next day.
Day fourteen of fourteen = a big, fat, positive test! It's hard to argue with the word PREGNANT showing up on the stick covered in your urine.

Nick had me wait until he got home from work that morning to test so I peed in a cup and got in the shower. We dipped the early response test first and it was a very clear plus sign. But Nick wanted confirmation from the digital. So we dipped that one too and waited forever. There's a little hourglass on the display screen that's there for about, oh, eight hours. It was infuriating. We couldn't sit there and watch it so we held hands and talked about Nick's day (night) at work. All of a sudden out of the corner of my eye, I see it change and lo and behold...PREGNANT.

Disbelief, tears, joy.

We took dozens of pictures of the thing, included the one above which we framed several copies of and gave to his family for the big reveal on Christmas Eve.

The waiting to tell people was the hardest part. I'm learning that pregnancy in general is a big waiting game and I suppose it's teaching me patience for when I have an infant, then toddler, then school aged, then adolescent - Lord help me.

For right now, I feel mostly fine, but just...different. My body sends me clues that something is changing. It's pretty amazing. I've been sick a few times. I realize I have to eat a little something every few hours or the full-on nausea hits hard. I know pack a lunch AND a dinner for my long days at work. So far, though everything has been manageable.

I think it's a boy.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Movies of 2009

Well, 2009 was a better year for movies than 2008, that's for sure. Nothing beats 2007, though. Be sure to scroll down to the bottom for the awards!

Movies of 2009

Bride Wars
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
He's Just Not That Into You
Coraline 3D
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Sunshine Cleaning
I Love You, Man
Observe and Report
State of Play
The Soloist
Star Trek
Terminator Salvation
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Land of the Lost
Away We Go
Public Enemies
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
(500) Days of Summer
Funny People
Julie and Julia
The Time Traveler's Wife
Post Grad
The September Issue
The Informant!
Food, Inc.
Whip It
The Invention of Lying
Good Hair
Where the Wild Things Are
The Men Who Stare at Goats
New Moon
The Blind Side
Everybody's Fine
Avatar in 3D
Up in the Air
Sherlock Holmes
It's Complicated

TOTAL: 45 Movies. Not as many as in years past, but Nick and I are more selective of what we see in the "off season". We mainly see films that are out from May to August and October to December. Not much doing in the other months.

Way Exceeded Expectations:
Away We Go (see photo at the top of post) I'm not sure why this movie affected me so much. Maybe it's because when I saw it, I was in full-on baby mode and the thought of being pregnant without my parents there was something too horrifying to imagine. But I loved the dialogue, the music, the characters' chemistry with each other. I loved it all.

Star Trek. Never had an interest in the show, or any of the previous movies, but I really enjoyed it. This movie was everything a summer blockbuster should be.

Food, Inc. I thought it would be self-righteous and pro-organic, but it was actually interesting and provoking. Convinced us to (mostly) give up Wal-Mart and start shopping locally and in season.

Avatar in 3D. Visually stunning, better acting that I expected, and I am developing a major crush on the main guy: Sam Worthington. Mmmm...

Thought It Would Be Good But Sucked It Up Bigtime:
Sunshine Cleaning. Boring. Depressing. Pointless.

The Time Traveler's Wife. Didn't live up to the hype. I should have known better.

Everybody's Fine. Misleading movie trailer and poster. Again: boring, depressing, and pointless.

Guilty Pleasures:
Confessions of a Shopaholic. Hugh Dancy. Shopping montages. I'm sold.
Land of the Lost. No matter how stupid those Will Ferrell movies look, I usually end up seeing them and laughing my ass off.

I'm realizing as I get older that I don't enjoy movies from my favorite books. I usually get a thrill when I hear they're making a favorite book into a movie, but I'm inevitably disappointed. Take Harry Potter for example: I saw the sixth movie with my dad at midnight, like we usually do. And right after it was over, I thought it was so great and made plans to see it again.

But when I had time to think about it, I realized I didn't really like it at all. They are adding whole sections to the movie that aren't even close to the book and I can't understand why. The house-burning scene really set me off. What was the point of that? And the Harry-Ginny love story is forced and awkward. Why didn't they leave well enough alone? I think I love the characters so much, that I'm happy to watch them do anything on screen, but I mourn for the movie that COULD have been.

Does that make me sound like a huge weirdo? Movies are the closest thing we have to watching the characters we love in real life, and it burns when they don't get it right. Same thing with Time Traveler's Wife. I felt such a connection with Claire and Henry in the book, but in the movie, I couldn't care less about them. Now I'm thinking I want to stay away from books turned into movies. Unfortunately, that's EVERY movie these days.

Are there no new ideas left? Maybe just in Pixar movies. By the way, we finally saw UP and I can say that the 5 minute montage of the main character's life is truly a cinematic wonder. The rest of the movie is so-so, but those first few minutes remind you of how powerful movies are. In other words, we were bawling. But what else is new in the Fossey house?

2010 Goals

Or dare I say resolutions?

Let me just tell you what WON'T be on the list:

-Lose weight/Be Healthy. This one's been done to death and no one (okay, me) sticks to it anyway.

Onto the real goals:

-Work on being confident in who I am RIGHT now. Not to say I couldn't be healthier, but I need to work on trying to love myself as I am.

-Take more photos. Like way more. I need to learn how to use our fancy camera.

-Update blog more often. I know y'all miss me and I have things to say, dammit!

-Read more to improve myself as a wife, person, future mother, and therapist. There's no need to only read the Harry Potter books over and over (although they're damn good)

-Be better about telling my family and friends how I feel about them. In the past few years I have shied away from "mushy" scenes with my family. Sure I tell them I love them, but I am terrible with the specifics. I actually worry about myself on this one.

-Keep up with my scrapbooking/card making. I have invested hundreds (maybe we're into the thousands by now) of dollars on supplies and "pretty stuff". I want to make an album of 2010 just for me and Nick.

-Take a trip with my beloved husband this summer. To somewhere other than Oklahoma or Texas. We need to get outta town.

-Cook more meals at home. My goal is to make 3 dishes a week and we'll eat leftovers the rest of the time.

That's all I've got for now. I read a LOT of blogs and it seems like everyone is anti-new year's resolution. Which I can understand; why set yourself up to fail? But the beginning of a new year always brings a renewed energy. It always makes me feel like this is the year to start new things, to fix what's broken and to let go of what's gone.

I'm excited for 2010.