mother dear..

i love you.

Those of you who know my mom, know how amazing she is. And chances are if you are reading this, then you know what she has gone through in the last few months. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in February and it has been a wild ride ever since. Everyone knows someone with cancer, or someone who has a family member with cancer. There's always a list of those battling cancer in the church bulletin and truthfully I never paid much attention to it.

But when it happens to your MOTHER, it becomes something unknown and menacing. This is what happens to other people, not someone with whom my whole identity is wrapped up in.

Through it all, she has been incredible. She told me when she was terrified, when she was confident, when she was annoyed with the doctors, when she needed me to be with her. In her blog she mentioned that my brother and I have stepped up to take care of her, but in reality she never stops taking care of us. Tyler and I talk about how we feel she is always trying to protect us, not from the truth necessarily, she doesn't lie to us about the seriousness of her condition, but from going through something like this alone. She's constantly asking how we're doing, how we're handling the news, how we are coping. And when I'm talking to her, she'll ask me how I think Tyler is doing and he confirms she asks the same questions about me. I wish I lived closer during these times so I could be with her at all times, but knowing she has Jonathan (the best future stepfather in the world) makes it easier to bear. He is so attentive to her needs and loves her more than he loves himself. Joining his family and having him join ours makes our lives more complete.



Mom, I've said before that I wish I had your aptitude for words, but I don't. I know it doesn't really matter, however, because I have always been your girl and you have always been the woman I strive to be. And as long as you are sure of that, I don't need to say anything else.

Love you.