it's time

(image courtesy of starpulse.com)

Nick and I saw The Informant! this weekend (the exclamation point is in the official title y'all) with the very talented Matt Damon and the lady who plays his wife who has been in Ever After, Coyote Ugly, Sweet Home Alabama, Shattered Glass, Flags of Our Fathers, Two and a Half Men (grr), Away We Go, and most recently, an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Whew. Homegirl's been in alot of stuff. But I have to admit, that up until 5 minutes ago Nick and I referred to her as, "Marcy from The Shield". She was in like 2 episodes as an unforgettable sadistic accomplice to murder who pulled one over on Dutch, the best detective in Farmington. Including Vic Mackey. You heard me.

Everyone's got some actor or actress that comes up in so many things, but for some reason their name WILL NOT stick in their brains. So while watching the Emmy's tonight, I decided that it's time. It's time to learn her name. We love this girl, we think she's going far...she deserves to be recognized by name, much like the beloved Judy Greer, whose name we learned about 6 months ago. So without further ado...I give you Melanie Lynskey!

I looked her up on imdb.com and found out she is married to a McPoyle on Always Sunny! And she's from New Zealand! How about that...

I just realized that if she ever googles her name, my blog will come up. Hi Melanie! We loved you as Marcy in the Shield, although that scene where your husband was beating that girl in the trunk while you watched in the mirror scared the shit out of me! We're rooting for your success! Send some celebrity blog traffic my way!

the invalidator strikes again

He begged me not to tell this story because it makes him sound like a jerk, but I swear it was just so funny and he just totally proved my point that he does indeed invalidate me at every turn.

We're snuggling on the couch, Nick's arm is around my shoulder. And when he removes it, my hair gets tangled up in the crook of his arm which he removed with a little pull. Here's what happened after that...word for word.

Me: Ouch! Careful!
Him: That didn't hurt! You're tough! (he said later this was meant to be a compliment. okay.)
Me: You see what I mean? You always invalidate me! You need to apologize for pulling my hair!
Him: I'm sorry if you got hurt. (ooh, this is where the Invalidator shines! A passive-aggressive apology. Some other examples include, "I'm sorry your feelings got hurt" or "I'm sorry if you thought I meant it that way" or my favorite, "I'm sorry you feel that way.") To his credit, Nick rarely gives these kinds of apologies anymore, and not just because I busted his balls on the blog about it.
Me: No, that apology sucks. I want to hear, "You were right and I was wrong."
Him: Fuck off.

I swear I laughed so hard for so long, I forgot what we were talking about. He wins again! I know to people who are reading this and don't us may think Nick is a jerk, especially for dropping the f bomb on me. But in a weird twisted way, calling each other horrible names and using vulgar language is how we show love for each other because it usually makes us laugh. I'm positive our kid's first word is going to be something really offensive.

Summer Movie Guide Part 2

Star Trek - done.
Terminator Salvation - done.
Night at the Museum - wasn't planning on it, but done.
Up
Land of the Lost - done.
Away We Go - done. loved it.
The Hangover
Food Inc.
My Sister's Keeper
Public Enemies (side note...did anyone read the Vanity Fair with Johnny Depp on the cover? mmm...)- done.
HARRY POTTER - done and done. and done.
500 Days of Summer
Funny People
Adam
Julie and Julia
Paper Heart
Taking Woodstock
Post Grad
The Boat That Rocked
The Time Traveler's Wife

Harry Potter was very very good. The more I think about it, the less impressed I am with it. But I think I'm mourning the loss of the movies that could have been. I understand the movies can't include every detail, but I still wish they could. I'm also disappointed with the Harry/Ginny story. They have as much chemistry as...two people who don't like each other very much. (it's very late) Harry and Hermione are crackling with sexual tension in this movie and there was nothing doing with her and Ron, I don't care how much they try to manufacture it.

I'm looking forward to the last two movies, but also dreading them, because I know they will have to leave alot of it out, and I don't think I could bear it.

Man, sometimes I surprise myself by how nerdy I have become.

do you validate?

If I had to pick a superhero name for Nick, it would be the Invalidator.

Luckily (or unluckily, I can't tell which, yet), Nick usually only invalidates ME. He finds dozens of ways every day to disagree with me, or try to discredit me, or try to correct me that it has moved from irritating to funny (funny, in the way you have to laugh to keep from crying all the time.)

Let me give you an example: Nick mentioned in passing that we needed to get the non-odor trash bags in case we have to throw our clothes into trash bags for the move and we don't want our clothes smelling like vanilla or whatever. I agree. Then we go to the store. We roll up to the trash bag aisle and I grab the non-odor bags and say, “Babe, here are the odor free bags.” And he says, “It doesn't matter. We can get the other kind.”

Huh? What? Why do you make it a huge deal to get a certain kind of trash bag only to say we don't need it when I remind you to get it?

Here's another story: My whole life, I kept my ketchup in the fridge. I don't know why, I just did. Then Nick moved in with me and told me I was an idiot for keeping it in the fridge because who wants ice cold ketchup on hot fries? Made sense to me so I started leaving it on the shelf. We lived happily for awhile until I ate some organic ketchup at room temperature and it was a little funky. I just figured it was a fluke because we'd had it too long. I mentioned to Nick that I thought the ketchup was going bad and he gave a long-suffering sigh, sent me a withering look and said “It's fiiiiiiiine.” (The Invalidator makes sure you know when you are being ridiculous, even if you're not) So I shrug my shoulders and quit eating from that bottle of ketchup and wait until we start a new one.

Fast forward several months: I'm looking for the ketchup and to my irritation and surprise, I find it in the FRIDGE. I didn't put it there, that's for sure. So I ask Nick, “Why is the ketchup in the fridge? I thought you liked it at room temperature?” He looks at me for a minute then says, “Well the last bottle we had tasted weird so I decided to keep ketchup in the fridge.”

Scroll back up to the previous paragraph.
“...I mentioned to Nick that I thought the ketchup was going bad and he gave a long-suffering sigh, sent me a withering look and said “It's fiiiiiiiine.”

WHY COULDN'T HE HAVE JUST VALIDATED MY CONCERN ABOUT THE FREAKING KETCHUP GOING BAD?!

WHY DOES HE JUST WANT TO STORE THE KETCHUP IN THE OPPOSITE PLACE I WANT TO STORE IT?!

Last month, The Invalidator and I were in Dallas visiting my dad, brother and his fiancee. We were talking about how couples fight in different ways and how even if people lose their tempers with each other, they can still have productive conversations as long as what they are saying influences the other one. I was quick to point out Nick's Invalidating tendencies and everyone laughed appreciatively and then I asked Tyler and Sandy about how they fight with each other. Sandy said they say what they need to, retreat to their respective corners and then talk about it later. Dad said that makes them a Validating Couple. Nick looks at them through narrowed eyes and said “That's make you my nemesis.”

Sigh. I'm doomed to be in love with The Invalidator forever, with jokes like that. Even if he tries to make me feel like I'm high maintenance for not wanting to eat rotten food.

Summer Movie Guide

Here's the ones I'm planning on seeing this summer. Some of them may not come out in OKC, so we'll have to see them in Dallas or by other means...

Star Trek - done.
Terminator Salvation - done.
Night at the Museum - wasn't planning on it, but done.
Up
Land of the Lost - done.
Away We Go
The Hangover
Food Inc.
My Sister's Keeper
Public Enemies (side note...did anyone read the Vanity Fair with Johnny Depp on the cover? mmm...)
HARRY POTTER
500 Days of Summer
Funny People
Adam
Julie and Julia
Paper Heart
Taking Woodstock
Post Grad
The Boat That Rocked
The Time Traveler's Wife

Undecideds:
Transformers 2 - probably not as I hated the first one.
Inglorious Bastards - meh.


What are you planning on seeing this summer?

will you marry me?

i love this kid!

let me brag a bit...

...on my cute husband. He has turned into a very talented photographer, although he doesn't believe me when I tell him so. Go HERE to prove me right and to see pictures of the world's cutest baby.

Thank you.

don't quote me on that...

You know what I hate? When you find a quote that has significant meaning to your life; that feels like it was written for you and you alone...but you may have found it in a less than respectable source.

Tonight, I was reading one of the 20 books I usually read each year – Forever In Blue: The Fourth Summer of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The books are, I think, a great portrait of a group of high school girlfriends. Before each chapter, the author includes a quote that relates to the upcoming chapter. Some of them are funny, my favorite being “I don't have to be careful...I've got a GUN!” by Homer Simpson. I read one tonight that really resonated with me and got out of bed to write about it.

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus

Here's the embarrassing part. I have no idea who Albert Camus is. I had to look him up on Wikipedia and I discovered he was a philosopher and author who was the first Africa-born person to win the Nobel Prize for Literature and the second-youngest after Rudyard Kipling.

But as far as I'm concerned, his greatest achievement is a quote in a book about adolescent, soul-searching teenage girls. Sorry Albie.

Let's get back to the quote:
“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.” - Albert Camus

Isn't that wonderful? With the warm weather finally starting to come around (without the rain, thank God), it makes me ache for my youth. Back to the magical days when I didn't have to worry about money, marriage, illnesses, my purpose in life. All I had to worry about was if I was going to get kissed by a boy I liked, if my friends were going to come over to spend the night, if my chores were done on time so I could go out to Whataburger with the girls.

Lately, I'm torn between feeling like I'm waiting for my life to start and feeling like life is rushing by and I can't stop it. But after reading that quote, I felt a surge of happiness and relief. Allow me to use another quote from an embarrassing source: Steel Magnolias. “Miss Clairee, there are still good times to be had.” - Shelby Eatenton.

I'm not sure if I have been experiencing a depth of winter, but I look forward to what is hopefully an invincible summer. I think I'm off to a good start. Today I got a pedicure with my other mother (Nick's mom) and two cute sisters-in-law. And for dinner, Nick and I ate outside at the park by our house and watched kids take great joy in going down the same slide over and over. I have big plans for the rest of the summer that include reading, writing (on the blog and just for me), attending the Harry Potter premiere dressed as Ginny Weasley, lighting fireworks, riding horses, swimming, turning our back patio into a beer garden, perfecting a karaoke song to sing at Cookie's that will get people dancing.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer...

she's funny...

...without even trying. My mother I mean. Sorry to post twice in one day, but I have to transcribe a text I received from my mother on Tuesday. I was going to drive to Tulsa later in the day to visit her at the Cancer Treatment Center where she was staying for the week with Jonathan. Anyway, this is exactly what she sent: a 4 screen text message that proves what I've always suspected, she doesn't really believe that I am a grownup yet. Which is okay, because most days I don't believe it either. (My comments are in these things ())

"Hey baby. The weather here is bad. How is it there? I don't want you driving if it's too bad. Do you know where the CTA (cancer treatment center) is? The place is on 169 and 81st street. Can't miss it. Drive careful. See you soon. I'm hungry. The eggs sucked (due to a procedure she went through she couldn't eat anything all day except two hard boiled eggs). xoxo. (so you'd think that's the end of the text but it keeps going.) Hey baby. Call Jonathan before you leave. Is there anyway you could be pregnant? (NO) I will be radioactive and can't hug you tonight. He asked me if you could be pregnant. (NO) Call J. Love you, mommy."

Poor Jonathan had to ask me if I was pregnant due to her radioactive-ness. I assured him I was not. But what if I was? I hugged her anyway, caution be damned...do you think my baby would be born with the ability to climb walls or be lightning fast?

trailers to watch

Nowadays, it's more common for me to enjoy a movie trailer more than the actual film. Maybe it's because every movie trailer should come with a disclaimer that reads SPOILER ALERT. You can tell everything from a movie trailer. Or, if you are as sharp as me, you can tell when they are trying to trick you in a movie trailer and the actual movie will go an entirely different way. The bastards. Anyway, I obviously spend way too much time on apple.com/trailers as evidenced by this post. Here's the goods.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/weinstein/nine/
A musical with Daniel Day Lewis? He definitely chooses his roles with care so they are bound to be good. Judi Dench? Homegirl wins oscars for doing cameos. And a bunch of other attractive women singing and dancing? works for me.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony/whateverworks/

Woody Allen and Larry David?? Oy. How has Larry David not been in all of Woody Allen's movies so far? Oh wait, he has except he was played by Woody Allen. His movies can be deceiving though. Some of them are SO good: Hannah and Her Sisters, Scoop, Annie Hall. And then some of them...eh. I wasn't a fan of Melinda and Melinda, Anything Else, Match Point. I'll say this for him though, the man's got range.

and finally, what we (that is Nick, me, my brother and our friend Ben) have been waiting for since LAST OCTOBER WHEN THE MOVIE WAS SUPPOSED TO FREAKING COME OUT...
http://movies.yahoo.com/premieres/13468916/standardformat/

The ROAD! It looks awesome! I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but it's too late. I loved the book so much! Tyler lent Nick the book on a weekend visit and he read it out loud to me while we were driving back to Oklahoma. We stayed up so late finishing it. It was amazing. Just reading parts of it out loud made us weep! Every father should read it. Every HUMAN should, but for real every father. Don't let the fact that it was an Oprah book club pick deter you. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while. (By the way, I am a total hypocrite because of that last sentence, because I have read several of Oprah's book club picks, but A Million Little Pieces burned me too badly. Bitch should have done her homework about that lying asshole!)

mother dear..

i love you.

Those of you who know my mom, know how amazing she is. And chances are if you are reading this, then you know what she has gone through in the last few months. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in February and it has been a wild ride ever since. Everyone knows someone with cancer, or someone who has a family member with cancer. There's always a list of those battling cancer in the church bulletin and truthfully I never paid much attention to it.

But when it happens to your MOTHER, it becomes something unknown and menacing. This is what happens to other people, not someone with whom my whole identity is wrapped up in.

Through it all, she has been incredible. She told me when she was terrified, when she was confident, when she was annoyed with the doctors, when she needed me to be with her. In her blog she mentioned that my brother and I have stepped up to take care of her, but in reality she never stops taking care of us. Tyler and I talk about how we feel she is always trying to protect us, not from the truth necessarily, she doesn't lie to us about the seriousness of her condition, but from going through something like this alone. She's constantly asking how we're doing, how we're handling the news, how we are coping. And when I'm talking to her, she'll ask me how I think Tyler is doing and he confirms she asks the same questions about me. I wish I lived closer during these times so I could be with her at all times, but knowing she has Jonathan (the best future stepfather in the world) makes it easier to bear. He is so attentive to her needs and loves her more than he loves himself. Joining his family and having him join ours makes our lives more complete.



Mom, I've said before that I wish I had your aptitude for words, but I don't. I know it doesn't really matter, however, because I have always been your girl and you have always been the woman I strive to be. And as long as you are sure of that, I don't need to say anything else.

Love you.

sorry to all my pregnant friends out there...

...but this is too good to keep to myself.

Nick turned me onto this hilarious girl comedy group called Garfunkel and Oates. They have a song called Pregnant Women Are Smug. I'm attaching the video, but I know most people (myself included) don't click on links no matter how awesome. (Although I sincerely hope you watch the video below of my amazing brother proposing to his girl. It's awe inspiring. Maybe if I brag on him enough, he'll make a witty comment.)

Okay, so here are the lyrics to the amazing song. Thankfully, none of my friends have acted like this (so far), but all know someone who has, or is right on the edge. Only organic food and clothing? No sugar/carbs/dairy/unfiltered air? How about the women who swear they can have a painless birth at home without any drugs? Please. I've never had a kid, but I'm pretty sure that shit hurts. I can barely keep my eyes from rolling back into my head when I get around people like this.

Anyway, the lyrics are as follows. Watch the video and sing along! And promise me and yourself that you will never act like those smug pregnant women...

PREGNANT WOMEN ARE SMUG

Pregnant women are smug

Everyone knows it, nobody says it,

Because they’re pregnant


F-ing son of a gun

You think you’re so deep now

You give me the creeps now

Now that you’re pregnant


I can’t count all the ways how

You speak in clichés now


I can’t wait to hear someone say

Don’t care if it’s brain dead

Don’t care if it’s limbless

If it has a penis


Pregnant women are smug

Everyone knows it, nobody says it,

Because they’re pregnant


This zen world you’re enjoying

Makes you really annoying


Bitch, I don’t really care

I was being polite now

Since you have no life now

That you’re pregnant


You say you’re walking on air

You think that you’re glowing

But you had been ho-ing

And now you’re pregnant


You’re just giving birth now

You’re not mother earth now


Pregnant women are smug

Everyone knows it, nobody says it,

because they’re pregnant


F-ing son of a gun

You think you’re so deep now

You give me the creeps now

Now that you’re pregnant

my badass brother

this was all my idea, but I never thought he'd have the guts to pull it off.

well done, brother!

by the way, isn't travis the coolest fucking band ever?

my man

I've been in Texas for the past 6 days spending time with my mom, playing nurse and taxi driver. A lengthier post is on its way about that, but for now I thought I'd post a cute survey I found while stalking someone I've never met...I mean surfing the ole' interwebs.

Nick, if you're reading this, tell me if I missed any. I haven't seen you in so long, I've forgotten what you look like but I'll try my best.

1.  Your spouse is sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?  
a movie or TV show that we have creatively acquired but not necessarily purchased.

2.  Who takes longer showers, you or him?  
me, but only because I have so much dang hair. But he is in and out in less than 10 minutes.

3.  What is one food your spouse doesn't like? 
Coconut! Funny story, it usually bugged me that Nick didn't like coconut until I ordered coconut shrimp one night. I was excited that I wouldn't have to share with him until he snatched one off my plate and said, "this is the only coconut I like." bastard.

4.  What would your husband say is the first thing that caught his eye about you?
I drank beer out of a can.

5.  Where did he go to high school?
Putnam City West High School, Oklahoma City. Go Pats!

6.  What is his shoe size?
12. jealous?

7.  If he was to collect something, what would it be? 
He doesn't really collect something, he just brings home odd items he finds in thrift stores. Once he bought a Geiger counter, another time a toy rocket to put together, a satellite so we could go geocaching.  

8.  What is his favorite type of sandwich?  
Turkey, roast beef, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mustard.

9. How does he take his coffee?
He recently started drinking coffee at work. He takes it light and sweet.

10.  What is his favorite cereal?  
I'm not sure if he has a favorite, but lately he's been eating alot of the ghetto version of Golden Grahams.

11.  Where did he go to college?  
He started out at OC, but we never met there.

12.  What is his favorite sports team? 
The New England Patriots...kidding! The New York Jets.

13.  Where was your first date? 
He took me to play mini golf and to dinner and Charleston's. We had to push the date back a few hours because there was a tornado that afternoon.  

14.  What is something I do that he wishes I wouldn't? 
When I bake, I use all the measuring cups and spoons and he threatens to divorce me.

15.  What is his heritage?
I've heard there are some Fossey's in France...

16.  You bake him a cake for his birthday, what kind is it? 
He prefers chocolate on chocolate, but the Fossey Family Birthday Cake is yellow cake with pink frosting and sprinkles. He's had both in his lifetime.

17.  What could he spend hours doing?
Surfing the internet, researching fantasy football, playing video games, watching an entire series of some obscure TV show with me.

18.  What is one unique talent he has?
Two things: He can Google anything, quicker than anyone I know. His motto is: If I can't find it online in 30 minutes, it doesn't exist. The second thing is he can identify any celebrity's voice on a commercial, AS LONG AS THEY DON'T SHOW THEIR FACE. If he sees their face, he can't think of who it is. I recently lost 20 bucks on a bet to him. Damn you John Corbett and your sell-out Applebee ads!

19.  Where is his favorite place he has traveled? 
I would say it's a tie between Carmel as a child with his family and New York City to visit his friends.

20.  What is a clothing item he would never wear?
A turtleneck. He doesn't like things around his throat, so I've stopped trying to strangle him for fun.

oh baby

Although I suffer from acute baby fever, I understand that now is not the time for me to get knocked up. Nick and I have discussed it at length and have decided to put it off for awhile and I was fine with that.

Until I saw this...



Our dear friends Benjamin and Amanda gave birth to a healthy 7 pound baby boy named Miles Philip Lewis. I haven't met him yet, but Ben keeps torturing us by posting pictures of him, like this one.



Now, I spend my days trying to rationalize a way to quit my job and have a baby. If only, if only...

Movies of 2008

Can I just say that this was a shitty year for movies? Not many of the movies I saw this year jumped out at me. But since I'm up late watching the Hills, I thought I'd update y'all.

1. Sweeney Todd
2. Untraceable
3. The Savages
4. Cloverfield
5. 27 Dresses
6. Definitely Maybe
7. Be Kind Rewind
8. The Other Boleyn Girl
9. The Bank Job
10. 21
11. Run Fatboy Run
12. Leatherheads
13. Smart People
14. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
15. Baby Mama
16. Iron Man
17. Redbelt
18. Son of Rambow
19. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
20. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
21. Sex and the City (2)
22. The Happening
23. Wall-E
24. Wanted
25. Hancock
26. Hellboy II: The Golden Army
27. The Dark Knight (2)
28. Step Brothers
29. Pineapple Express
30. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (2)
31. Bottle Shock
32. Burn After Reading
33. Appaloosa
34. Ghost Town
35. Miracle at St. Anna
36. Eagle Eye
37. Nights in Rodanthe
38. Blindness
39. W.
40. Role Models
41. Twilight
42. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
43. The Wrestler
44. Australia
45. Zach and Miri Make a Porno
46. Towelhead

Sticking with the same categories as last year...

Exceeded Expectations:
1. 27 Dresses - yes, kind of a fluffy movie but surprisingly enjoyable.
2. Son of Rambow - y'all know I love movies with little kids with British accents.
3. The Bank Job - mmm...Jason Statham.
4. Forgetting Sarah Marshall - funniest movie of the year.
5. Pineapple Express - second funniest.
6. Ghost Town - third funniest. Ricky Gervais should be hosting the Oscar's. He would be amazing.
7. Australia - apparently, I'm the only one in America who liked this movie. But it was beautifully shot.

Thought It Would Be Good But Sucked It Up Bigtime:
1. Indiana Jones and the Stupid Crystal Skulls. - you should be ashamed of yourself, all who are involved with this movie. The ONLY good thing about it was the age of the leading lady. Thank God they didn't pair him up with a 25 year old this time.
2. Bottle Shock - This movie is a self-important, ridiculously boring movie. See my brother for an amazing impression of a douche bag being "shocked" by a "bottle" of wine.
3. Appaloosa - Booooooring.
4. The Wrestler - Nick will kill me for saying it, but this movie SUCKED. It had no plot; it was a character piece about a shitty character. And as my dad pointed out, "How can you have a 'comeback' in a sport that is all fake? That kid McLovin' could have a wrestling comeback if they wanted him to."

Movies I Knew Would Suck and Did Indeed Suck but Had To See Because It Was Nick's Turn:
1. Actually, none this year. Although he tried to get me to see Transporter 3 which would have definitely made this list.

I'm adding a new category called Guilty Pleasures. We've all got them (I'm looking at you, Simon Birch).
1. Sex and the City - a fun movie for a true fan.
2. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 - I read these books way too often and love the movies as much as the books.
3. The Other Boleyn Girl - another movie based on a book I read several times a year.
4. and of course....Twilight. I have seen this movie more times than I care to mention. Even watching now, my heart beats a little faster when Edward comes on screen. Reminds me of when I saw Titanic when I was a freshman in high school...

What were your favs for 2008? And what do you think will win the Oscar for Best Picture?